Pet Peeves
Strange the way a mind works, isn’t it?
Around three in the morning, I was rudely awakened by a loud, Woof!
Jax immediately scrambled off the bed and ran to the ocean-side sliders. After pulling on my shoes, I followed, only to see a tall yellow dog with flopping ears and big black eyes. He was nose to nose with Jax, separated only by the glass.
What followed was a whole lot of doggy conversation. Barking, growling, whining, and woofing interspersed with whirling, running, and play-bowing. There are coyotes on the island, but I’d never seen one with curly hair. No, this dog had been groomed recently. Although he wore no collar, he didn’t look like a stray.
But at three a.m., these details barely mattered. I pushed Jax aside and stepped out. The dog ran off.
Hunting for Chewy
The dog reappeared the next day. I tried to tempt him with a treat while carrying a leash, thinking I would corral him and call the authorities. But the dog proved shy, despite the yummies, and I followed him across our property. When he ran into the street, my heart stopped. Then he disappeared into a black Land Rover.
That’s how I learned my mystery beast is named Chewy. He belongs to my new neighbor, who has never had a dog before, and Chewy continues to slip out of the house. But never fear — a trainer is coming today to work with Chewy and his family.
A novice gets a pass
It’s hard to be angry with a concerned pet owner who is clearly out of his depth. I intend to drop a note in his mailbox and offer my services as a dog savant, if need be.
But my fellow writers don’t
And then I read a New Yorker column about a writer’s pet peeves. That word pet stuck in my head. I started thinking about my personal bugaboos — the ones that stop me whenever I stumble over them.
For example, a learned friend told me she hates when people use “over” to mean “more than.” To her, “over” is a place. You can be over the moon, but something isn’t over a million miles away.
Another peeve? Confusing “I” and “me.” You don’t say, “Me went to the store,” do you? Therefore, it shouldn’t be “Joe and me went to the store.” Nor should it be written “she invited Alice and I.” It’s “Alice and me,” because it’s objective case.
The purple people-eater who prefers pizza to pineapple and practices pilates
The author of the pet peeves column also decried stacking up a bunch of appositives. Such as: The thirty-year-old mother of two, a frequent Pilates instructor whose prowess in the kitchen made her legendary, and the wife of a financier, Bo Beep is a model American Yummy Mummy.
I would tell you the author’s name, but I don’t want to be guilty of appositive stacking, so you’ll simply have to wait…
And yes, a lot of people get annoyed by the use of the ellipsis. I’m not one of them.
Are you, David Owens?
Because if Chewy escapes again at three a.m., I might need a few extra dots to express my feelings…
On a personal note…
I’m pleased to see so many of you giving All In a try. I especially loved the review by the anonymous reader who noted the book was taken from my life! If you haven’t read it, I hope you will. Grab your copy here:
My astrology chart warned this would be a time of great disruption. So far, that’s been absolutely spot on. One thing won’t change…I’ll keep writing books that I would love to read. For example, I’m working on Kiki #21. I’ve gone back and forth about titles, but I think I’ll call it Tie, Dye, Death. We’ll see if that sticks.
If you live in Century Village in West Palm Beach, you can hear me speak on February 19 at 11 a.m. in the clubhouse. I’ll be talking about creativity. (A subject that’s obviously near and dear to my heart!)
Until then, I’m sending you love. Can you feel it? Joanna
My late English teacher would be so happy to see this post.
Here’s a pet peeve: “would of” when it should be “would’ve.” 🥴