The Shark Pooped in my Diaper
And other heroic tales
Toilet-training is tough. Both for the trainee and the trainer/s. My grandson will be three next month, and he’s doing pretty well with the pee-pee portion of potty training. However, he’s firmly committed to leaving large deposits in his diaper.
Only, Landon insists that HE is not the one pooping in his diaper. Oh, no. Perish the thought. That poop was left behind by …wait for it…a shark.
A mysterious visitor
A shark has mysteriously been sneaking into his house—and that shark is pooping in my grandson’s diaper. I am sure this has happened at your house, too, right? You deal daily with sharks? Slipping in when no one is looking? And pooping! How dare they?
Capturing a story
I need to write this story down. Not only to save it for Landon, who (one presumes) will one day figure out the whole “human waste goes in the toilet” gig, but also for me to use in a book. Because anything that anyone says or does is fair game when it comes to my work. I will steal with my eyes, and my ears, and I have no shame.
Writers must be observers
If you want to write, you must first observe. You must approach the world with intense curiosity. You must ask tough questions and engage with people in an open, unjudgmental way so you get answers. And it is possible to do this without upsetting people if you approach them with humility and a sincere interest.
Be willing to ask good questions
Years ago, I was at the Kennedy Center Gala and found myself seated next to an ambassador, newly appointed. His wife was seated next to my husband. After a few pleasantries, I learned he and his wife met in college. Well into the salad course, I said to the ambassador, “Look, you and I will probably never see each other again. So indulge my curiosity. Did you marry your wife knowing she’d be a good ambassador’s wife? Or did you fall for her and hope she’d be good in that role?”
And he told me. And it was a good, meaningful conversation. And it was a learning experience for me. (In case you’re curious, it was a combination of him knowing she’d be good in the role and him loving her.)
Meaningless gibberish should be avoided
We spend a lot of our lives talking in meaningless gibberish to each other. Isn’t that a shame? Wouldn’t our lives be richer if we asked fruitful questions? Questions like: What do you like most about your work/life/hobbies? Who would you be if you weren’t who you are? What’s the most frightening/exhilarating/courageous/dangerous thing you’ve ever done? What regrets do you have? What would you tell your younger self?
By the way…I did see the ambassador again. We were invited to his home.
And a tip that works for me
By the way, I particularly like asking people about their tattoos. Most of them have deep meaning to the tattoo-ee.
If you’re not a writer, but a fellow traveler in this world, I hope you’ll think about being open and curious. I invite you to go beyond, “How are you? Have a nice day!” and engage other people on a whole ‘nother level by asking good questions—and listening to what they have to say.
Coming soon…
Death at the Dog Park is available on major book sites and on Amazon. The paper version will be released March 13. You can pre-order you copy now here: https://books2read.com/u/3GO6eP
(If you’re wondering why the book was available in digital format at some retailers before others, well, it’s complicated. We can submit a book for publication, but then it’s up to the retailers/distributors to actually make it “for sale.” In other words, it’s out of our control!)
Wednesday Wicked Ways is off to the Beta Readers. (Hallelujah!) It’s Book #4 in the Friday Night Mystery Club Series. If you remember pantyhose and “dress for success,” you’ll get a kick out of this book. You can pre-order it here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DSCJFK42
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More for you to read!
My pal Neil Plakcy has three new books, one being our co-written Death at the Dog Park. Here’s information on his other offerings:
When enemies share a hotel room in a Boston snowstorm, things are bound to heat up...
Miami preservationist Victoria Whitmore has met her match in Alex Rivera—a devastatingly sexy developer who's determined to tear down the historic neighborhood she's sworn to protect. With his smoldering dark eyes and perfectly tailored suits, he's temptation personified. Too bad he's also her sworn enemy.
Content warning: Contains a Latin lover who knows exactly how to push all the right buttons, steamy scenes that will fog up your windows faster than a Miami summer day, and enough sexual tension to rival the Florida humidity.
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Steve Levitan’s wife Lili is co-teaching a course on Caribbean cuisine with her friend, prominent food anthropologist Dr. Yesenia Ubeda. But before the first meal is served, threatening notes appear, old documents surface with explosive implications for US-Cuba relations, and a student with a hidden agenda is found murdered. With his golden retriever Rochester at his side, Steve must untangle a web of long-buried secrets and dangerous obsessions.
And a personal note—
I’ve been overwhelmed by your kind cards and notes. I’m almost 100%, although I do get tired easily. My intention is to thank each of you as I can. In the meantime, please know you made such a HUGE difference in my recovery. I’m forever grateful.
Love you all—Joanna
I remember toilet training with my youngest who will be 16 this year. It was the pee she had the most trouble with. Body not letting her know when she has to go at times & when she was busting! I hadn’t realised Landon was turning 3. Time flies! Maybe the shark poo could be incorporated into Kiki’s own toilet training thing with Ty when he’s older.
Don’t remember doing anything too frightening. I have a fear of heights & places with huge ocean aquariums. I once hit a parked truck on my mountain bike. I ended up with a badly squashed finger. My younger self, I would remind to look after your teeth. You pay for it. I was an older adult. Happy writing!
The things kids come up with! Thanks for the laugh. Happy healing!